Mother

Here comes the conversation I hadn't been looking forward to.

I had barely set foot inside my mothers house before she asked how I got on with the handsome young fellow, who I'll refer to now on as Jack.

Trying not to get drawn in I ask who she's referring to, she narrows it down the the guy I left the wedding party with. Now when I don't want to get into a conversation like that with mum I usually throw a few crude remarks in (which she doesn't like), it usually has the desired effect of making her change the subject. So I ask if Jack's the brother of the gorgeous red head with the nice boobs I was chatting to.

Anyway the conversation continues for a bit and I finally own up to remembering the guy she's talking about. This is where she tells me a few more facts about Jack which gets me thinking how does she know, apparently she was talking to his mother at the party. Then a thought hits me, since she knows a few things about him what has she told his mother about me?

"I didn't lie, I said that your a single mother who may be looking for a partner".

Ok she didn't lie I gave her that, but she wasn't entirely truthful either, she neglected to mention that said partner would be lacking a Y chromosome.

Feeling like I'm winning the argument (well conversation anyway) she mentions that Sophie got along great Jack. I'm starting to get a bit paranoid here! It seems my daughter had been introduced to Jack shortly before he was introduced to me.

Before I can give her hell she starts showing me photos from the wedding. She skipped through them quite quickly as there was one in particular she wanted to show me, it was a picture of Jack and me dancing, only I'm resting my head on his shoulder which I don't remember.

The photos get put away and just when I thought I was safe she asks...

"So what did Jack say when you told him you prefer the company of women?"

Bugger, I hadn't told him and she knew, otherwise she wouldn't have asked. I had just spent the last hour or so complaining about her trying to set me up and when it came down to the wire I had forgot to tell the guy he wasn't my type.

Then I had a brain storm, there had been 8 of us out that night so I told her that in the small amount of time I had spent talking to him the subject of me being a lesbian hadn't come up and in fact whether or not he was gay hadn't entered into the topic either (so there!)

Although if I'm honest I think that's 1-0 to mother (dam the woman!)