Avoiding the issue
I intended to post earlier in the week but didn't get enough time. I did however manage to watch the wedding dvd, I hate watching myself on TV.
Ok so onto the main event.
For those of you who have been following what's going on recently regarding a certain someone of the male species I apologise for my constant complaints about his behaviour towards me and your right that I haven't done anything to dissuade him either.
If I'm honest then I would say that the underlying factor behind my complaints is quite simple, he's a guy and I'm a lesbian and want to continue to be so, but in fact I do actually enjoy the attention he's been giving me recently. I'm not sure if I like him or just the attention after all the problems I had with Rebbecca and I was doing all the chasing there.
I haven't told him about my sexual preference because at the moment I assume that he just thinks I'm a girl who may or may not be interested in him. If I tell him then I'm either telling him that I'm not interested and for him to back off or I'm telling him I am interested and for him to continue with full valour. It's not that I enjoy him not knowing it's just I feel that is the more comfortable of situations at the moment. To use a more simple analogy I'm currently on amber and don't want to move to red or green just yet.
He did want to see me this weekend but I told him I was busy, which I am, but at least I was able to tell him that without inviting him along.
Edit: Come on Lewis Hamilton, you can do it!
8 comments:
Ah, but he couldn't in the end, could he? BAD week for British sport.
Indeed a bad week for British sport. He did well to get as far as he did, there is always next year.
There's no harm enjoying attention as long as nobody's getting hurt.
Ah the fallen roses, England was no match for SA but at least it wasn't a crushing defeat.
So you're afraid of telling him because there might be a slight chance you could actually like him?
Ooh this is better than TV.
What would happen next in a soap opera?
I can understand what you mean by enjoying the male attention and companionship (at least a little bit).
I have a friend who is a lesbian, and a friend who is in a long term relationship. I really enjoy their company, even though there is no shared sexual desire or romance between us (well not anymore!); but I like spending time, making jokes, and being around females in a non-threatening context.
I do find women sexually attractive, but I also really enjoy being around them and trying to understand them. I can be more honest about my feelings among some females I am close to; in contrast to some guys I known from a past when I was different. One of these two females I sometimes hug and we are very sweet to each other; I refer to her sometimes as a big sister and we use a lot of cute terms for each other only the two of us understand.
There is a female archetype known as the 'fag hag'; who is a heterosexual woman who finds affection and closeness (and perhaps emotional intimacy) in homosexual men.
I knew a girl who was kind of like that; she was sometimes lacking in confidence, was nervous a little, but she was very sweet, very funny, and very beautiful. I went out with her; but I was extremely scared to ask her out again. This particular girl used to go to formal balls and stuff and used to go along with her gay male friend, and they played 'couples' in those formal events.
You might upset him a lot if you don't tell him soon enough. Despite this, I bet the both of you can just enjoy each other's company!
I hope you aren't turning straight!!
If it was a soap opera, you would make out with him and be even more confused.
By no means am I telling you to do that, I'm just saying if it was TV...
mike, I don't think it's particularly the male attention I'm enjoying as I have many male friends (both gay and straight) but I think it's more the fact that for the time I spend with him the world revolves around me where as with Rebecca everything revolved around her and that kind of pissed me off in the end.
Sarah, I have no immediate plans to make out with him but on the last two occasions he's got close to me I've kinda not had control of what happened.
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