Close call

The image to the right was the sign facing me as I attempted to drive through one of those stupid road narrowing's this morning.

The image to the left was the sign facing the bloke coming the other way, unfortunately we met in the middle but luckily we avoided hitting each other. Since there was no accident I didn't see any point in stopping to discuss the matter, I didn't look to see if he felt the same, but which of us do you think was in the wrong?

Nightmares

I had the strangest of dreams last night.

I was running through a large house in the dark trying to scream because something was chasing me, only no sound was coming out my mouth and I was struggling to breath. I can only remember the last bits before I woke up, I opened my eyes and for a moment the last image of the dream and the sight before me blurred into the same image.

Oh and I ended up being late for work!

Edit: I just noticed this is my 50th blog entry...

Mother

Here comes the conversation I hadn't been looking forward to.

I had barely set foot inside my mothers house before she asked how I got on with the handsome young fellow, who I'll refer to now on as Jack.

Trying not to get drawn in I ask who she's referring to, she narrows it down the the guy I left the wedding party with. Now when I don't want to get into a conversation like that with mum I usually throw a few crude remarks in (which she doesn't like), it usually has the desired effect of making her change the subject. So I ask if Jack's the brother of the gorgeous red head with the nice boobs I was chatting to.

Anyway the conversation continues for a bit and I finally own up to remembering the guy she's talking about. This is where she tells me a few more facts about Jack which gets me thinking how does she know, apparently she was talking to his mother at the party. Then a thought hits me, since she knows a few things about him what has she told his mother about me?

"I didn't lie, I said that your a single mother who may be looking for a partner".

Ok she didn't lie I gave her that, but she wasn't entirely truthful either, she neglected to mention that said partner would be lacking a Y chromosome.

Feeling like I'm winning the argument (well conversation anyway) she mentions that Sophie got along great Jack. I'm starting to get a bit paranoid here! It seems my daughter had been introduced to Jack shortly before he was introduced to me.

Before I can give her hell she starts showing me photos from the wedding. She skipped through them quite quickly as there was one in particular she wanted to show me, it was a picture of Jack and me dancing, only I'm resting my head on his shoulder which I don't remember.

The photos get put away and just when I thought I was safe she asks...

"So what did Jack say when you told him you prefer the company of women?"

Bugger, I hadn't told him and she knew, otherwise she wouldn't have asked. I had just spent the last hour or so complaining about her trying to set me up and when it came down to the wire I had forgot to tell the guy he wasn't my type.

Then I had a brain storm, there had been 8 of us out that night so I told her that in the small amount of time I had spent talking to him the subject of me being a lesbian hadn't come up and in fact whether or not he was gay hadn't entered into the topic either (so there!)

Although if I'm honest I think that's 1-0 to mother (dam the woman!)

Wedding weekend

Well the wedding went off without a hitch, pardon the pun!


The 3 of us turned into the 8 of us as the 3 kids plus my brother and his girlfriend were roped into helping, I was the unintentional cause of problems in Friday as when I tried on my bridesmaid dress it didn't fit. it seems I've lost weight since I was fitted for the dress and it had to be taken in, but that was a last resort, my mothers preferred option was putting a padded bra, she couldn't seem to grasp that my chest wasn't the problem but my waist.

But you have to do as mother says even when you know it won't work.

They made some alterations to the dress and to every one's relief it fit, it wasn't the most comfortable of things but then I thought I would only be wearing it for a couple of hours (I ended up wearing it for 14 hours!). So I'm wearing this dress which now fits and Sophie decides to have a tantrum and hurls her drink at me for not giving her enough attention, everyone stood in amazement as we watched in slow motion this plastic cup filled with blackcurrant juice heading right towards me, then at the last minute mum steps into the path of the flying cup and gets plastered and luckily not a drop on me. I couldn't see the look on her face but it was enough to frighten Sophie into running out the room with Laura being commanded to look after her.

Sophie apologised when I saw her later and has behaved ever since, Laura had obviously done a good job of tell her off. I must admit that she looked like an angel walking down the aisle behind the bride with Katherine's boys on either side, I think they were given special orders to give her enough attention to keep her quiet, a trait she gets from me according to my mother.


The rest of the day and the following party went very well. Since I'm the middle daughter the role of given a speech fell on Katherine which went down rather well, the groom's speech was funny and he mentioned that when he met his bride to be she didn't have any children but he was surprised when she turned up at the church with 4 kids and 3 grand kids. There were a few drunken speeches but they were soon forgotten and the party continued. I was seconded to the dance floor by a handsome young fellow from the groom's side, much to the amazement of my mother who nearly fainted at the sight, unfortunately she has plenty of photographs to prove it happened.


By the time I heard the buffet was open everyone in the venue and probably even those passing by had queued up, although I managed to follow the bride as the crowd parted to let us get some food.


I helped tidy up at the end of the evening before being invited by young handsome fellow to join him and a few others going to a nightclub. I'm not sure what shocked my mother the most, the fact I was leaving on the arm of a guy or that I was wearing this expensive dress to a nightclub. I only stayed for about an hour as the dress was really starting to get uncomfortable, the guy was very charming and even got my mobile number out of me, I usually give them Laura's and they don't notice if she meets them.




It wasn't until I got up this morning that I realised I hadn't told him that he wasn't exactly my type, it's usually the first thing I tell a guy who starts hitting on me, could I have just simple forgotten to bring it up?

It's not fair that I have breasts!

Well that was the comment a friend said to me at a house warming party on the weekend.

One of my friends has bought a house with his fiancée and they had a house warming party on the weekend. I wasn't drinking because I was driving and I wasn't in the mood of alcohol but this led to several people thinking I was pregnant, I had to remind them of my sexual preference but now I keep thinking I'm getting fat.

Luckily my fears of getting fat are subdued by the fact that I had to borrow a dress from Laura and she's smaller than me, I was pleasantly surprised that the dress fit perfectly.

Ok so back to the headline, A few of us (about 8) retreated to another room to watch sport on the telle. I was the only female in the room and ended up sitting in the middle. All of a sudden the subject of conversation changed to women and how all the guys were wearing pretty much the same outfits but that each women was different, and then came the moment.

"You know it's not fair, you having breasts I mean!"

How do you respond to that !! ha.

On another note my mum's best friend is getting married this weekend and since she doesn't have any children she's adopting the 3 of us for the day, I'm not quite sure what I have to do yet.

Back to Reality

I've decided not to post specifics about the recent events even though they have had quite a large effect on me. I hope I've made a few friends on this blog and I feel bad by not letting you into this one.

The incident has been swept aside and no official records now exist, as far as everyone else is concerned nothing happened and life goes on. But something did happen and I'm having a hard time fitting back into life as if it didn't.

The events of recent have given me a different outlook on life and how I fit into it as well as an insight into a few other people around me.

I remember as a kid playing on a cruise ship with my siblings and a few friends we made, we had fun and didn't much care about where we were or what we were doing. Then something stupid happens and you realise your a long way from home and suddenly want to get off.
I feel that way now, like the journey is not as fun as it once was and I want to get off and go home, but I'm a grown up now and there's no where for me to run to.

It feels like I've lost the balance and I keep falling over, not literary speaking.

Don't worry I'm not considering doing anything drastic to myself but I'm considering the idea of seeing a phyciatrist for a few sessions.

For those of you worried about the incident, don't worry I wasn't the victim of a crime or anything like that.

Oh and Mike, you'll have to give me a link to your blog, since the one listed on your blogger profile is out of date I had assumed you had given up on blogging.

hectic week

just a quick post to let you all know i'm still about.

it's been a bit hectic since my last post with a few crazy things happening, i need to get my head around what's happened before i feel i can talk about it.

j.x