Monday 5 November 2007

Thinking back

Doesn't time fly, I hadn't realised it had been so long since my last post.

Things have been rather quiet so far for me, I dressed up as a witch to go trick or treating and I attended a company social event where nothing worth mentioning happened.

I haven't seen Jack in the last two weeks although we've been texting back and forth, he's still as flirtatious as ever and I'm, well I'm not sure what at the moment.

Although the situation has made me think back to high school. I had a crush on a boy in the primary school and we started seeing each other when we moved up to high school, I say seeing and not dating since we didn't actually see each other outside of school, but we spent some time kissing in various areas of the school where no one would find you.
I'd already started having strange feeling about other girls and no more so than while getting changed for gym practice, but that's another story.
He moved away at the end of the 9th year and being the age we were we didn't think to keep in touch, it wasn't until after he left that I decided to pursue these feelings I had been getting about girls.
It makes me wonder what would have happened if he had stayed around and I had been content with that relationship.

1 comment:

M said...

I find it profoundly interesting that you, a lesbian, felt drawn to in a physical way to this guy. I'm not sure what to make of it.

To be honest though, it doesn't mean you are 'not a lesbian' or 'bisexual'. These labels, I feel are self defined; I've certainly had fantasies about guys and flirted with them in the past (inc. my sister's wedding and her gay friend), some guys are really cute but more miportantly, have this personality that really rings with me that I want to be close to them and would be happy if they held me. Do I identify with being gay because of that? Not really, as most of my daily sexual feelings are heterosexual, there are just those tender moments where I would feel free to be open sexually and romantically to certain, special other guys. Its VERY rare and has only happened in my life like 5 times when I felt this way.

I love reading your posts, and I find your honesty and candidness (and very sexual undertones) fascinating.

You are lovely!
Michael