Saturday 21 June 2008

Something needs to change

I find myself in exactly the same position as last week and I feel very annoyed about this.

Something in my life needs to change.

This morning the phone woke me up, even more than that it was nearly lunch time, what annoyed me further was that I was still tired and wanted to go back to sleep. Although I do like a lay in it's not usually because I'm tired, I find laying in bed in the mornings helps me sort things through in my head, allows me to come up with different approaches for things I expect to happen that day, but lately my mind has been more concerned about going over past events, and showing me what ifs, perhaps it's my minds way of keeping us sane, luckily there's still only one of me that I'm aware of..!

I'm sitting here, well laying would be more appropriate, after just watching a film with Chris Rock and I'm feeling pissed off, more at myself than anything else, but I'm finding it hard to put these feelings into words which is why I stopped blogging for a time.

I still need to figure a way to rescue my princess from the evil clutches of the wicked witch, in other words how to get my seven year old daughter away from my mother!

The one thing I was thinking about changing was my car, I had seen an slk which I thought looked nice, then after discussing it with my brother I came to the conclusion why the hell do I need a new car, I have a new car, although a few years old now. I think I was just looking at the convertible sporty option as my current car is a hard top family car.

I'm just going round in circles here, today was a stressful day, and that's after sleeping for half of it. Nearly all the stress was caused by Rebecca, who else, I have considered telling her she's too much stress but none of us can help the way we feel about each other and I do get this warm fuzzy feeling when I'm with or talking to her.

.

3 comments:

M said...

contentment is one of those unattainable, yet unintentional things.

was there a time in the past that you liked and identified with?

Or is it a break from the present that you seek?

Thinking of you
x

Anonymous said...

I love lying in bed to think through stuff too. Hoping it all gets worked out soon for you and your daughter!

Boy said...

I also sympathise on the bed issue. I've solved many of life's mysteries in a semi-conscious slumber.

I, like you, have been in desperate need of change for a while. I'm less than 2 weeks from this change, and I can't wait. :).